Packing, Posting, Peace Within

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.

~Jimi Hendrix

TWO VIEWS, ONE SIDE OF THE VIEW FROM THE ROOM OF THE HILTON, AND THE OTHER VIEW FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HILTON, SAME TOP FLOOR. CRAZY HUH?
COULD YOU IMAGINE LIVING IN THESE HOMES?

Swinging with Daddy BRYCE LOVED THE DOGS,WOULD SQUEAL WHEN THEY CAME AROUND

A MOMENT

FIRST BATH IN THE SINK LIKE ASLYNN, WE WERE GOING TO USE THE SAME SINK BUT ITS PINK AND WE THOUGH, HEY LETS DO THE BLUE BATHROOM, COVER UP THOSE BOY PARTS NOW!

FIRST SMILE AT MOMMY,IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF MEETING

DEHYDRATED,ZONED, BUT I THINK HE CAN FEEL OUR LOVE

ZONING IN AND OUT, I FED HIM RIGHT AWAY AND HE GAVE SOME RESPONSE TO ME

MORNING BEFORE WE PICKED BRYCE UP

Packing, not the funnest thing to do on a Saturday morning. I wish the sun would come out, I am starting to miss it, weird to say in AZ.

I got 3 emails, a medical report, and photos of Bryce from the Embassy doctor all checking him out fine. She says he is malnourished, neglected and needs attention held,loved, as he has crib syndrome. She ruled out any "special need" accept the love of a family. I have decided to go and get him. I am going to go on this vacation (I was planning on having him with us), come home and get on a plane and head out to get him. That is what my gut and prayers say. If it becomes a challenge in catching him up, I know I can hire help to assist me and lead me down the right road. Maybe him seeing aslynn moving around and doing her crazy things he will catch on. I can only hope so. THANK YOU EVERYONE for your prayers, I do BELIEVE they really HELPED and GOD shined down upon my family, Bryce in Africa and my heart. Without the love and support from family, friends and strangers that wrote me out of the blue, the people that cared that I did not know were out there, WOW I don't know what I would have done. Thank you so much, my prayers are with all of you. The woman that shared their stories, the families waiting for their babies, and the families that have their kids home. You are a strong network, thank you for stopping by and thinking of me to write. Please keep checking and see Bryce and what becomes of my travels. And I have more in store for my board, more to share, just don't want to hit everyone at the Bryce moment. Love and Peace to you all as we all are doing wonderful things around the world. God Bless

I thought, Ok with this post, what would I post as pictures, so I thought the last group I have from the trip. :)

Daddy and Son

"Build me a son, O Lord, who will be strong enough to know when he is weak, and brave enough to face himself when he is afraid, one who will be proud and unbending in honest defeat, and humble and gentle in victory."

~ Douglas MacArthur

I love this picture. How Jon is holding him, and Bryce has these BIG eyes and the light shining behind him. He doesn't look like anything is wrong with him. Just in aw over the camera. We got the medical report today, and now reviewing to to make our decision. A part of me want to fix him and go get him, the other part wants to make sure that my time is equal between all the kids so that nobody feels left out when one had special needs and needs me more for appointments or therapy.

I got some personal email from people telling me their story and a lot of people say when they got the baby home and in their environment with their kids, the baby developed so fast and is totally caught up to his age and doing fine.

I keep praying and looking for the answers. Sunday we leave on a nice week long trip, gives me time to think, and figure things out. When I get back I will know in my heart the right thing to do. It was nice the Embassy Doctor came and saw him and gave a unbiased opinion and evaluation in depth. A lot DIFFERENT than what we were told by the orphanage, NOT as bad as they said, which puts me more at ease. Here is also another picture, he looks so healthy in, he was calm and just had a feeding. I love this photo laying on the African blanket.

You will need to put music on pause, great video

I came across this video from a website and thought it was really neat. The smallest thing can make a difference.

Finally, Almost A Year Later

“A friend is one who takes me for what I am"
~ Henry David Thoreau
It's been almost a year since I started chatting with Joy on the boards and we live in the same state. We always keep saying we would meet up, but she lives in Queen Creek, me Surprise and my kids school, hers home school and we just never got a chance. Plus picking up the babies in Addis, Joy having a baby, time just flew.
WELL WELL WELL... we finally got together. Jon and I loaded the kids up, popped in a DVD and drove our to her lovely home. We were greeted by a very well loved family full of hugs, snuggles (I got loved on) Christ is the center of this home and the warm welcome you can feel his presence, and the 8 kids were very well behaved.

We had a wonderful lunch, the kids played WII (my kids never have played it, I know shocking huh) the adults got to talk about everything, of course there was a child around each one of my kids age for them to play with. Even Logan threw a little "tired fit" when we tried to leave because he was having fun. We were planning on going to church with them, but with the long drive there, we knew we had a long drive back. Within 5 minutes the 2 older kids were passed out in the car, Aslynn took a nap at Joy's so she was our talker the whole way home.
Aslynn LOVED crawling on the floor with the boys, she ate,played and got a nap.
Everyone had a wonderful time, thank you Joy for inviting us to your home, you will have to make the drive to our home next OR we can meet half way :) But we must get together again, I love when 2 families can CLICK and everyone gets together and not awkward. I walked in and felt right at home, like I knew Joy and Javier for years, and the kids. Maybe from the blog and boards? Or through Christ. We were meant to meet, and our friendship will grow stronger, as we have so much to share and I know we have so MUCH TO DO in this world TOGETHER. There is a reason why we crossed paths :)
11 kids,4 adults,2 dogs,chickens, some great conversation with friends and food to top it off! A great way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

“A milestone passed, new things begun, dreams as shining as the sun, a goal achieved, a victory won! That's Graduation!"

The morning wrangle up of the 3, I had to capture all 3 personalities in their moments, thoughts cute and funny.

Last week Makenzie Graduated from Kindergarten. It was so eye opening on how time slips through your fingers like sand on a beach. Just yesterday it felt I was in the hospital with her in Italy and Jon was parachuting into Iraq 2 days after. Now, 6 years old and in the fall First Grade. She is so tall, so smart (the tested her at a 3rd grade level),she is so pretty, had the brains and the will power to do anything. Her new thing is that she found her "own spot" in the grass on the side of the house. She has a pink Chinese box with songs she wrote while playing her guitar. There is a chair,Guitar, the pink box, sitting there. She goes and plays music, stops write lyrics down and keeps going. At 6 yrs old? I feel like I have a little Hannah Montana in the house. Her hair is getting long enough to almost pull back in a pony,that is one of her big things she is working on, growing it out. She plays, laughs, writes songs and poems, sings to me, makes up dances and performs nightly. Makenzie is a sweet, kind, loving child that read her bible at night, says her prayers, to include everyone, and thinks of others first.

She knows when you are down, she tries to lift you up, when you are up she enjoys the moment and wants to share and do crafts 24 hours of day.

She is my daughter, my grown up bundle of love.

The night of graduation she got to pick ANYWHERE for dinner, of course the Italian thing she is wants Olive Garden, because she loves the soup and bread sticks, the rest goes home for lunch the next day.

I am so proud of her, so excited to see the next steps of her life, and know that she is a beam of light to anyone that comes her way. She has a gift, a blessing God has bestowed upon her, I am dying to see how it turns out and where she ends up in life.

To my First Born, may you always be "My Little Sunshine" Mommies baby, my snugga, my big girl, little mommy, craft queen, and my BEST FRIEND. We have been through 3 deployments, moves, a lot together and still with a smile you wake up waiting for the next challenge the world is going to hand you. May you always have that in your heart and head and let nobody stop you from your dreams. You WILL be what you want to be, I know it.

She also got an award for outstanding reader as she can read anything and everything, whole books that I read, its amazing shes been doing it for a few years now.

PUSH PAUSE ON MUSIC BOX AT BOTTOM,MEETING BRYCE

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

~ Wizard of Oz

I have been asked by many, "how is Bryce, where is your new baby, how are the kids doing with him" and so much more. I know nobody knows what to say as they expected me to have my child home. Such a long trip to come home to that empty crib, and it was the perfect timing as we are going to Atlantis in the Bahamas on the 24th, it would be our first family vacation. All of us, I can picture in my head the beach with the 2 babies, the 2 older ones in the water, but now my mind is not at ease, its so spaced and just confused on the next step in life.
There is a lot more to the story of Bryce, too much to write, but the week there was the hardest week I have dealt with. And shockingly, I have been through the gates of hell and out the other side these past years, and Addis really got me this time.
I cant say much about what my agency has done, is doing, or what is to become as he states and legally I cant.
But emotionally, I can sit for hours and capture Bryce in my mind, the moments he was not "different" the moments of JOY that we had shared and picking him up. SO I thought I would post it.
In my heart I have 4 children, 1 which I might go back in a few weeks and get. Paperwork is settled now and shocker, this past week the visa is there. Amazing how things work.
Now did God send me to Ethiopia to get Bryce? Or when the agency showed me other children I was to get Bryce and this other boy? Or no Bryce and that's why no visa, and just the other boy?
Did God open the door for this new child? OR DID GOD CLOSE THE DOOR AT THE EMBASSY to save me knowing that I was lied to and God was helping me and wanting me to come home? If I go back what obstacle will I face this time? And for a lifetime with the doctors not telling me exactly what Bryce has? Some say its dehydration? Some say its the malnourishment? Slow development he will catch up? Cerebral Palsy? What do you do, its tossing this quarter up in the air and where does it land? I wish God would send me a sign, some big light show with the words spelled out what to do, what he wants me to do. I read my bible for answers and pray so hard with Jon and the kids. Still blank, still nothing hits me like a ton of bricks with the answer.
I will keep praying, trying to find the answer and run with it. For now, on my mind, is not the vacation, summer break, but WHEN am I FLYING to get him?!
VIDEO MEETING BRYCE

Happy Mothers Day

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. ~Jewish Proverb

Shawna;Sister,Friend,We have our moments,but she is the closest thing to a mother I have and have had for years. Thank you for being that phone call away,through the bad and good, we know that at the end of the day, we have each other. I love you

My Mom Cindy, who raised me to be who I am with very similar personalities,love for life, and speak freely even if its totally off the wall. Thank you for my early years of life when you were there to raise us. Happy Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all my friends, family and mom. Its so nice to be home and with the kids today. We are relaxing and getting time together, I missed them so much this past week. I thought I would post a picture of my mom, my sister, and grandma Mana Boo. All who raised and took care of me through my life. My mom while I was younger, and than my sister filled the high heels from a early age till TODAY STILL I turn to her and depend on her. And my Mana Boo who is a email or phone call away, not a day goes by that we are not writing. SO I say a special Happy Mother's Day to the 3 woman that helped raise and care for me, and Shawna that still does daily. And to put up with me, is a job and project in itself! Takes only a certain type of person, and she is it. XOXO

And of course my Mana Boo, who is my email buddy, helps me in every way possible, vacation queen, fashion couture grandma, we know where I get my good taste from, friend, mother,loving, caring, giving, and so much more wrapped up into a Mana Boo! She is very special to me!

Home,No Son in My Arms, Bryce Baby

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit

Psalm 34:18

We are home after a long week of pure pain and hell. I don't want to go into details yet, tomorrow I will try and put pictures up if my heart allows it to. We got to Ethiopia, picked our son up and for 2 days, saw that he had a mental condition. After the doctor and head Frenchman confirmed this, we all agree the mental brain damage,and we don't know recovery wise, if any. This was not told to me, I was not prepared for a child with special needs for the rest of his life. We had to fly home without him, legally still mine,we are getting him special treatment, and having other doctors review him. So many children, easy to look over all medical. Bryce is 14 months old, but his mind is at a 3 month old, I cry I cry and pray so loud for God to hear me and wonder why us? My agency is flying there to deal with this and other case issues. We will hear more as the days go on. Adoption is not like a dog pound where I can pick another so fast, I love my Bryce, that is who I want but I want him healthy and at 14months like told mentally.

Its been a long week, a lot has happened, as I feel mentally better I will share. But cant really write anything positive but that we are home,our 3 children are safe and waited patiently for us. Was expecting a brother, and I did not have to give them. I look at the crib, his clothes, the paintings on the wall, I don't have my son with me, this is hard, I am at a loss.

He had been malnourished for so long, too long, this could be one of the reasons. This could have happened in the womb, the doctors don't know. Hard to watch the seizures,legs stiff, cries of pain, in and out of consciousness all day, spaced staring, banging head,shaking head forever unless you stopped it yourself holding it with your hands,I would kiss him, talk with him, everything I could, nothing would stop him from beating his chest, pulling his hair, the list could go on and on. My heart aches that I had to leave him, our visa 37 was not even there, the agency never told the embassy to keep our 1st adoption case with 2 visas open, so a visa for Bryce was never made, even if he was healthy, I still would not have been able to take him home. Weird how it turned out? Why us God? I have so much to share, so much more to talk about that happened this week on Ethiopia but not the strength yet to write it all.

Pray for us, our family, Bryce, May we all be ok during this time,may we all have peace and resolution.

Buckle Your Seat Belts

My family is like a sanctuary to me. I always turn to them for support and strength. I take comfort in knowing no matter which path I choose, my family stands behind me. ~Benjamin BrattIt is that time again, yes to get on the plane and get Bryce. We leave in 2 hrs for the airport and I am so tired I could not sleep. I want to make sure I packed everything, even though I just did this in November I feel like I am redoing it for the first time. Plus its so hard to leave the 3 behind, I hope its a fast turn around and I am back in a flash. Soon the family circle will be complete .....