Logan's First Day at Joy Preschool

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons. And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes. ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

The Car Ride To School
First Day! Outside with sister Makenzie, Aunt Trystan, and cousin Jackie
Backpack and all..HE IS A STUD
CHEESE!

Ok my heartbreaking pictures, I know he looks so excited to be there. He has been good so far, but when he has to get up from a nap he cries his teacher says. He is use to sleeping until however long he wants to. And at school he gets 2 hrs, so that has and will be his challenge. He is a sleep bug! Gosh I just love him to death I could squeeze him. A little selfish part of me wants to keep him home and not let him venture out into the world. Keep his cute little buns at home, with me, and him and I just tag along. But I know he needs to get use to other kids and enjoy his childhood. He is so different than Makenzie. She was ready running to not spend days with me, she wanted to be with others and still would rather go to school or out somewhere then stay home. Logan would rather snuggle up, watch a movie, hang in the backyard, do errands, and just be my best friend all day and night!

SO to my sweet boy, I love you, you are so special and it breaks a piece of my heart everyday I wake up and you are a little bigger, talk a little more, or gives me that hug or kiss I needed and nobody knew but you! xoxo

God...Lead me

God has been giving me signs...maybe they have been here all along and I just have not had my eyes and ears open but this past week I see what I need to do and how to do it. Thanks for everyone's love and support during my "time" of thought.
It is amazing how much prayer,talking and most of all listening really does help and heal your mind and heart. :)
We are looking forward to October and hopefully get a court date soon so we can fly. We picked a name but of course keep going back and forth, any suggestions from people? Name to go with Logan and Makenzie? Hit me with your thoughts and then I will share what I think we are picking :)

Changing..messing around..we will see

I thought my blog needed a face lift after such a long time, so today I am going to mess around, change colors and backgrounds, etc etc...we will see what I pick ha ha

In another mood...my sweet Logan Cole

I love this picture, I know you see a little NIPPLE but still it's just the image of the mother and her child, so peaceful. Maybe I love this picture as a Mom because I can FEEL how she is feeling holding her child! The love, the warmth, the closeness!

Ok so I am in another mood today, so much flying in this big head of mine. My personal trainer laughs when I tell him my odd stories of "friends" past or present and of course my family, which I could write a book and even a movie and make millions, but ya know... keep in inside Leah as Don my Christian shrink would say :) and than lets pray Leah! HA HA SERIOUSLY!

Today was a hard one, Logan had his first day at Joy preschool. Now that he is potty trained, he started 3 yr old preschool. GOSH it was so hard, I kept trying to talk and come up with everything I could to not leave the room. Even my sister was pulling me away. Logan eventually started crying for me, probably because he saw how I was that I had to leave him. Really you don't have to leave your kids at this age, its a option. I am a stay at home Mom, but I know he needs socialization, learning skills and to be around other people than Mommy....sniff sniff my baby is not a baby anymore, heart breaking!

So my Mr. LO LO buns gets picked up at 3. I will post pictures tonight...until than, my heart and tears go out to all the moms that have had this gut feeling: THE DROP OFF, THE WALK AWAY, THE SIT IN THE PARKING LOT, and of course THE CALL TO THE SCHOOL TO SEE HOW HE IS DOING. I can do this, 2 kids in school, our adoptive baby here in Nov or Dec.

NOW on with my home projects in the meantime to keep my busy! Deep breath....

On another note, I got a email from a friend in Germany and this was on the bottom of her email as her signature, I like it, its SO TRUE, as friends come and go for so many STUPID reasons... seems like you never really know what went wrong or why. Differences? Other friends get in the way? Lies? Who knows, nothing to dwell on BUT I will admit, I have had my ups and downs and there are about 2 people really in this world (besides my love lamb Jon) that are always here for me no matter what. No matter weight,looks,what you have, don't have, kids do or have, blunt sayings, etc etc... friends are a good support system, without them as females, we would be lost in certain ways I really hope Logan meets kids, has friends that he can share stories with, laugh and have forever and always be close with, today is the beginning of the rest of his life, i know he will ROCK this day.

Anyway-mumble...here is what was on her email bottom:

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"Friendship is the hardest thing in the world to explain. It's not something you learn in school.

But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything."
-Muhammad Ali

FAMILY SHOULD COME FIRST

FAMILY SHOULD COME FIRST....

Jesus taught us how to forgive out of love, how to forget out of humility. So let us examine our hearts and see if there is any unforgiven hurt -- any unforgotten bitterness! It is easy to love those who are far away. It isn't always easy to love those who are right next to us. It is easier to offer food to the hungry than to answer the lonely suffering of someone who lacks love right in one’s own family. The world today is upside down because there is so very little love in the home, and in family life. We have no time for each other. Everybody is in such a terrible rush, and so anxious ... and in the home begins the disruption of the peace of the world. -Mother Theresa

What's white,black and rolls? SOCCER BALL

Winning is not everything, but wanting to win is. Vince Lombardi

Soccer season has started back up, and this year Logan is into the game. Today was our first practice and the kids did not want to leave. This year Makenzie is old enough not to have a "parent" as a partner, so she was on her own and kickin some butt or should I saw ball?! Logan and Jon had a great time while I sat, watched and took pictures. My allergies are making my eyes all itchy and of course it was 8am... I get up SO EARLY all week, so it was my 1 day to wear bum clothes, no makeup (scary) and have wet hair. Of course I saw someone from High School which I dodged and ignored, UNTIL NEXT WEEK, than I will say HELLO! HA HA

Hamburger Night....SHAPES

You can hand me my "super mom" award at the end of the week, or I will accept it now please!

Ok Ok, I have my moments, and yes tonight was one of them. While making hamburgers and I must add on my new George Foreman Grill (it rocks dude). I broke out the cookie cutters and the kids got to make/shape their hamburgers. It was really fun and creative I must add!

A Saturday at "A Little Surprise"

There is this new place out here that has a city inside the building, hence "a little surprise." It was cute, I don't think my kids could stay there for more than a hour, unless maybe there was a group of friends they knew, but it was nice to get out and play with them and enjoy the afternoon out of the sun!

Makenzie Started Gynmanstics

Sports do not build character. They reveal it. Heywood Broun

Another season of Gymnastics. This year we found a place that is close to school, so we can go to class right after school starts. This year she is with her cousin Paris and Sierra. Which is wonderful to have the girls go to school together and than have time after to do some gymnastics. Fun Times!

Night at Resort

Since Logan got a horrible ear infection the weekend of our 10 year anniversary and we had to cancel. We decided to go to the J.W Marriott Resort and Spa for a night and enjoy some pampering. We had a great Spa Suite, 3 treatments each, hung out in the pool and Jacuzzi, had lunch by the water, breakfast under a huge umbrella with ducks walking around. This resort is my favorite, I could live here if I could. We had a great time and of course loved spending every second together, laughing, and just being US! Jon's first Pedi, hey had to get a manly picture!

xoxoxo Eternity with my soul mate

Feet...10 year Anniversary Feet of course

You all know my fascination with feet. I have a "watch our feet grow old together" live by saying. So on our 10 year anniversary, Jon and I tangled our feet and I took some pictures!

"The secret of a happy marriage.... remains a secret." Henny Youngman

Makenzie's First Day of Kindergarten, Church of Joy

We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths. Walt Disney

Makenzie and her cousin Paris
Ohhh.... the desk with her name tag..cute uniforms huh!
Welcome, the first day of the rest of your life
Got to give Logan Love Goodbye!
I am a big girl now, Kindergarten
The 4 of us
Class Room
Teacher and Makenzie

Well, the time has come to see my baby go off and start Kindergarten. Totally different from preschool, a little heart stopping, but she was excited and its so worth the drive (45 min each way) to take her. The education is wonderful, she comes home with bible verses, stories about Jesus and so much more. She has grown up and WOW what a great and amazing young lady she is. YES I already knew this, but hey, must brag a little more! My sweet Makenzie, the day you were born in Sacile, Italy was the day I was blessed with a angel straight from my belly! You and I have gone through a lot with the Army together and now have a calm life in 1 state/home. We are blessed, we have Daddy safe at home, Logan who is a amazing son and brother and a sister who should be here in November. God is good. I know Makenzie will make great thing out of her life, I have and will continue to give her the tools, what she builds will be a mystery, but I know it will be amazing!

Random Email Verse I got...Eye Opener

"I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me…Then the King will say, 'I'm telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me---you did it to me.'"Mathew 25: 35-36, 40

HAVE NOT POSTED IN AWHILE/PERSONAL CROSSROAD

"So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

Isaiah 41:10

OK I have been in a funk... so much emotion and confusion going on in my life, I would not even know where to begin. I will update when I get a chance to sit, breath deep and begin to write. Now I am praying a lot, putting a lot of trust in God that he leads me down the right road with decisions with the adoption that we have made. I guess all of a sudden it hit friends and family like a TON of bricks and I got LOADED with A LOT of negative feedback, disbelief that I was actually going through with it (even though, all you adoption families know the processes, its not overnight). People are questioning how the kids will react? The race issue? how will the kids be treated later? my 2 biological? and the 1 adoptive for not all being the same color? All these things Jon and I thought of but when you hear them from family and friends I guess they kinds stick in your head, stab your heart, and than question yourself, which is the WORST thing you can do. Besides what is going on with the adoption so much more in my life seems to be hitting at one time, the list could go on and on and if answers or some great Divine does not happen I am going to start questioning my faith, yes I said it out loud questioning my faith! Everyone does or has before, don't ever deny that you haven't. I'm just admitting and blogging about it.

I cant sleep, feel so lost and in a cloud and just alone in the whole situation. I wish I knew someone who has felt this, went through this, knew my answer of what to do, what road to take? I am standing at my crossroad and don't know what road is the right one to turn down. The tears can only flow for so long before I am dry inside.

"GOD please show me the way, I want to be able to have more children, I am NOT done and CANT physically have anymore, I DON'T know what to do at this point!" Court dates come out in October, we might be flying to get her in November. We already have her referral picture, she is precious, the baby room is done, and I am at a BLAH moment in my life on my direction.

Makenzie is in Kindergarten, Logan preschool, and me... well that's the question, what do I do? what do I love to do? Be a mom! I don't have "friends" that I hang out with, I think I saw my closet friend 2 times since March, sad I know, but my world is my 2 kids and Jon. AND now my crossroad.

I cant hear ANYMORE that God will point me, or give me a sign or I will just know, because IT'S NOT HAPPENING!

My heart is in pain and I have nobody that understand or will listen, really listen. Jon of course is 100% ready to fly now, but we both want what is best and people question this.

Pray for us, pray God gives us the light at the end of our tunnel as I am in the dark and really questioning myself right now.