I love my family. My life and world revolves around their ever need, the attention and love to give them. Jon and I have been married for 10 years, and through these 10 years, it was always about Jon, Makenzie and Logan. I am not at all saying this is a bad thing, its a wonderful thing and I am blessing I have the chance to be a stay at home mom and wife to my family. I love my children with all my heart and soul, they are the reason I get up every morning (at 6am) and I now know I would not be the person I am without Jon and the kids.
Everyone has their life "bumps", the break in the string, or the balloon that popped right after you got it. That happens to me a lot, with friends, extended family and just how life is thrown at me occasionally. But I am strong, I handle things, and I have been learning so much more about God, what he does for us, our times of needs can be helped and listened to, its my relationship with God that helps me put that smile on my face and know life is good!
The thought- a few years ago Jon and I looked in and started the adoption process. We were very picky of what child we were looking for. A healthy girl blond hair, blue eyes, Caucasian, looks like us, and will fit in just the same. Now I am not saying this as a racial thing at all, I am saying this because in our minds we thought that it would be harder for her to grow up with nobody that looks like her around, and the impact that can make and effect a child can get from the negative world. After awhile Jon and I knew it did not feel right, we did not know why but it felt like we could not keep going on with the adoption. We held off for awhile.
After some operations/surgeries (another posting for that one) I am now unable to have another baby. I was SO FINE with that, no biggy because I did not want anymore kids, I was and I am happy with my little family of 4. But after some time I knew something was missing, this little space in my heart that yearned for another child. Lets also remember that when I met Jon he wanted 8 kids, I laughed and settled for 4... we have 2! HA HA
For the first time in my life I will official say outloud, I am a good mom, a wonderful wife, I have a great heart for my family and the Lord my Savior. I am grateful for everyday I have and hope there is a tomorrow as I could not imagine my life without my family it in, or them not having me. I am a good person, I love everyone, would give a stranger the shirt off my back it they smiled and were happy, I would dig myself and have dug myself into bad situations just to HELP someone else that I felt was in need. I volunteer, go to church, pray, do as the bible say to do to the best of my capability and still I don't have the sense of peace and that closure I need.
Africa- that's a point to start at right there. First I know so weird, but my past has lead me to a point in my life where my friends, family and people around me have always been Caucasian. I was raise in a Caucasian area, moved around, went to schools and churches etc etc but none of them had a African American environment. This could be because I am in AZ and its more Hispanics, is what I see. I am NOT RACIAL at all, I love everyone and everything, I also can dislike everyone and everything NO MATTER the color of their skin. I think everyone is Racial to the extent of the way we are treated, the goodness, and love and feelings we get from people, no matter if they are white,black,brown, purple or green. People hurt you in life, and even if its a different shade of skin that makes these actions bad,it does not make the whole race bad.
My sister, Shawna (which I could spend 100 posts about) signed me up for a mission trip with Hope 4 life. We are going in November to Uganda to spread the word as well as bring medical supplies for those in need. When she first told me about this, I was set back, in my head illnesses popped in, sickness rambled out of my mouth and I was a bite scared, but I knew it was meant to be. I agreed to go,but also knew that as a sister of course I would go with her, I could and would not let her go without me, or someone, and I do owe it to myself and her to go. I will do a brief post later about my siblings, husband, kids etc etc.
I have always wanted to go to depths of Africa as I only have been to Tunisia, and its NOT deep into Africa.
Our first step of reality of going in November was our shots. We went down and started the series of shots, OUCH! But as the blogger my sister is, we take pictures of anything and everything together. I will post the pictures as they are too funny.
Back to Africa- the invite from my sister, Makenzie changing schools and the new teacher and family is African American, a woman in need coming into my life that is African American, I kept stumbling onto sites, blogs, and info here and there about adoption in Africa.....so many little "whispers" as Jon and I call them, trying to flash this huge sign at us.Now some might say they are insignificant, and random, but more little things were going on during this time. I read a book that I will recommend called "Dangerous Surrender" by Kay Warren. I also went to her weekend seminary and learned a great deal from the experience and wow the statistic's in Africa blew my mind. I thought I new a lot about the culture, life, medical needs, but I think that America has blinders on. Africa is not all about AIDS, its not about dying of Aids........there are so many more thing people are dying from that are TREATABLE if people would give the means to do so.
My husband was in the Army for 12 years, I have traveled everywhere, lived in Italy for 3 years, he has done 3 tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, and seeing what "us" as Americans and the government spends their money on, BLOWS my mind! Wars, the endless gas prices rising over petty things, and in it all, hundreds and thousands of people in Africa WANTING to work, WANTING a chance to live and survive, and not getting it. Its heart breaking.I will through some statistics up later. Back to my mini book here, gosh its gotten long!
After all my Africa "hints" from God, my heart and soul, we started looking back into adoption and in January started contacting agencies. We knew it would be a long process, but if it was meant to be, it would happen, and happening it is! I look forward to writing here, not only for myself, my family, and my "baby Ethiopia" but for others to feel what I felt, what makes my heart cry out to others and the tears that run down my face when I see a picture or read a book. My heart is in Africa, and I know my daughter awaits us to bring her home.
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Hebrews 11:13-16 “Each one of these people of faith died not yet having in hand what was promised, but still believing. How did they do it? They saw it way off in the distance, waved their greeting, and accepted the fact that they were transients in this world. People who live this way make it plain that they are looking for their true home. If they were homesick for the old country, they could have gone back any time they wanted. But they were after a far better country than that—heaven country. You can see why God is so proud of them, and has a City waiting for them."
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