PUSH PAUSE ON MUSIC BOX AT BOTTOM,MEETING BRYCE

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

~ Wizard of Oz

I have been asked by many, "how is Bryce, where is your new baby, how are the kids doing with him" and so much more. I know nobody knows what to say as they expected me to have my child home. Such a long trip to come home to that empty crib, and it was the perfect timing as we are going to Atlantis in the Bahamas on the 24th, it would be our first family vacation. All of us, I can picture in my head the beach with the 2 babies, the 2 older ones in the water, but now my mind is not at ease, its so spaced and just confused on the next step in life.
There is a lot more to the story of Bryce, too much to write, but the week there was the hardest week I have dealt with. And shockingly, I have been through the gates of hell and out the other side these past years, and Addis really got me this time.
I cant say much about what my agency has done, is doing, or what is to become as he states and legally I cant.
But emotionally, I can sit for hours and capture Bryce in my mind, the moments he was not "different" the moments of JOY that we had shared and picking him up. SO I thought I would post it.
In my heart I have 4 children, 1 which I might go back in a few weeks and get. Paperwork is settled now and shocker, this past week the visa is there. Amazing how things work.
Now did God send me to Ethiopia to get Bryce? Or when the agency showed me other children I was to get Bryce and this other boy? Or no Bryce and that's why no visa, and just the other boy?
Did God open the door for this new child? OR DID GOD CLOSE THE DOOR AT THE EMBASSY to save me knowing that I was lied to and God was helping me and wanting me to come home? If I go back what obstacle will I face this time? And for a lifetime with the doctors not telling me exactly what Bryce has? Some say its dehydration? Some say its the malnourishment? Slow development he will catch up? Cerebral Palsy? What do you do, its tossing this quarter up in the air and where does it land? I wish God would send me a sign, some big light show with the words spelled out what to do, what he wants me to do. I read my bible for answers and pray so hard with Jon and the kids. Still blank, still nothing hits me like a ton of bricks with the answer.
I will keep praying, trying to find the answer and run with it. For now, on my mind, is not the vacation, summer break, but WHEN am I FLYING to get him?!
VIDEO MEETING BRYCE